Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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