I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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