HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
