I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
