I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
