the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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