she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
