fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
