By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
