guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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