Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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