just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
