what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
