I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
