New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
