i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
