Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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