see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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