I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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