It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
id be glad to
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
