so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
