I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Did I show you my penis last night?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
