I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
