I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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