Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can you bring me the toilet please
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
