Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
