Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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