Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize