I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
