oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
