Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
