I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
