Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
