Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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