why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
