I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
