..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I deserve this hangover.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
