just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
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Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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