how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
