whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
