Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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