i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
