you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize