This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We had to coat check the pizza.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
