You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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