I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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