I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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