I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
