I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
