grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
