i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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