i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
