Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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