So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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