Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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