So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
