i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
