she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Alive.
So much puke
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
