i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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